the end

Monday, October 29, 2007 T: 15 48

Not too long ago, a schoolmate of my brother’s has passed away after being knocked down by a car when he was jaywalking. Sometimes, when you really think about it, isn’t it frightening to see how a life can be taken away in the very next moment? It could be anyone, the old man just waiting for his end, or the young ambitious fellow who has still a bright future ahead of him.

I asked myself, ‘Am I prepared for death?’ Perhaps I’m morbid, but I’m no pessimist, but rather a realist. I wish I could say yes to that question. But I can’t. I leave behind no will, no instructions, no last words. And if I were to fall dead right now, this diary that I’ve written for over 10 years would just disappear with the hard-drive.

People might think I’m crazy to think about death at such a young age. But the car-accident said it all. One never knows. Besides, I bet the world will be a better place if everyone lives as though as he or she is living his last. Maybe it’s when we are near death we could see beyond what we thought we might want and see what we really want, that we could see the world like Morrie, contented with the life that we have now currently.

There was this cancer charity show yesterday. To ignite the compassion, generosity in the hearts of the public, it showed video clips of people suffering through their medical treatments. Have I not witness the pain and suffering that my father endured through chemotherapy? I could not understand why the old will want that as well. To me, it seems nothing more than mere short extension of life, a temporal delay to the inevitable. I could comprehend more if the patients are younger fellows, with a longer future, with a family to feed, with commitments.

Maybe that’s why it’s better to be free from commitments and burdens. And if such a thing happens to me, I could leave the world with much lesser worries. In a sense, I do not fear death itself, but the process of it, the physical pain that I’ve to endure, the mental pain that I may have to suffer. People fear death perhaps because they do not know what’s going to happen next. They fear the unknown. I believe in Christ. I know where I’m going. I’m going to meet God. The question is if God will call me to be with him, or condemn me to eternal isolation. That once again brings me back to the question I ask earlier, ‘am I prepared to die?’

Sorry to spoil your day, but I wonder if you are too.

a poster i found.

肚量大一点，嘴巴甜一点

行动快一点，效率高一点

脑筋活一点，理由少一点

做事多一点，脾气小一点

说话轻一点，微笑露一点

语言似箭， 不可轻发

一经入耳， 有力难拔

From a more mundane point of view, this seems to be the rules of living a happier and contented life.

Words are powerful, but it would be folly to be concerned about the tongues of men.

birds

I watched the small cage of little birds intently. There were about 20 of them all cramped up in the small enclosure. Some darted repeatedly at the metal bars, hoping to break free. Others simply perched themselves on the sticks, perhaps resigned to their fates. It must be terrible, staring into the open sky, knowing that you belong to a greater place, but yet unable to. But if they ever get set free, will they miss the days when food always is present, when they do not have to fend for themselves? Peering at the world through my little keyhole, I should be contented that at least I can see.

Besides this cage of birds is another which houses a bunch of lovebirds. They were in pairs, standing besides each other, contented and pleased to have each other. They do not seek to get out. Maybe for a relationship to works, it takes more than just commitment. Each must learn to enjoy and appreciate the company of their partner. This is in light of a movie I watch today. Before Sunset is a great movie.

new liberal thinking

I often think that this new liberal thinking in the 21^st century is what that will bring peace to the world, that it is good because it helps everyone to accept one another for who they are and what they believe in. Although of course it may not be a right mindset from a Christian point of view, but at least it does stop all unnecessary massacres, genocides, crusades and jihads from occurring.

However, sadly, this liberal thinking seems to have put aside values which have been highly regarded and esteemed in the past to satisfy the instant gratification and materialism that today’s people seek. As our technology progresses, our morals and humanity seem to have digressed. I never really understood how purity and chastity gradually loses their importance in society today. And as we become increasingly educated, the increase in eloquence simply allows us to put up false fronts and fix smiles on our faces.

Perhaps as the world becomes flatter, the heart of man becomes harder as well.