machines

Friday, December 28, 2007 T: 20 11

I saw a boy playing with a small game machine today. It’s of course not the boy who fascinated me. The game is all about shooting balls into particular slots, at a price of 20 cents. I watched as he did it over and over again, undaunted until he got it. He did after some time, and walked away with his new toy triumphantly. I wonder how much coins he threw away just to score that victory.

I was like the boy perhaps not too long ago, only that it’s a card machine instead. Weekly, I would spend 10 dollars worth of 20 cents coins to get Streetfigher Cards. In the late nineties, 10 bucks is a lot, especially to a kid.

Come to think of it, from young, kids are given their own versions of slot machines already. Is gambling part of Man’s innate nature? I never have a clue why adults would threw millions into the casino, thousands into the slots, allowing themselves to be legally robbed.

I guess I really don’t understand lots of things anyway.

fairytales

Wednesday, December 05, 2007 T: 23 49

When I was young, I always love reading fairy tales. Maybe it’s the ‘happily ever after’ that always appeals to me, the idea of true love, the innocence and beauty in the fairytale land. As I grow up, things seem not what I have seen in those stories. There’s no fairyland ending in this reality. Love seems nothing more than two persons making use of each other. Happiness is never lasting, instead only flicker for a few moments. And so I don’t read fairytales anymore, because I think I’ve grown up.

The last two movies that I’ve watched are Stardust and Enchanted. I walked out of the cinema twice wishing the time spent watching this movie has never ended. It would not be the same, watching the movie a second time. I felt if I did get struck down that very moment, I would at least die a happy man.

I don’t read fairytales anymore, but I know I’m addicted to fairytale endings. I suppose it’s what makes our life a bit more hopeful, what that lightens up our lives now and then, what that perhaps grant us a second’s wishful thinking that maybe, just maybe dreams can come true, and we would be living happily ever after.

Sometimes, I think maybe people pursue relationships; things of their desire, people get married, and have children, all in a hope of finding happiness. Sometimes, I can’t help but think that these attempts are futile. Because there will never be a fairytale ending to any of these.

Sometimes, I really feel the pointlessness of listening to sad songs, watching movies with a sad ending. I don’t need reminders of this harsh and cruel world. Maybe all I want is just naïve faith and conviction that dreams can come true.

We are all like Robert Philip in Enchanted actually, resigned, tired and sick of the promises those fairytales tell us. I wish I could be like Giselle, simple and happy.