On day, as part of our GP lesson, we are supposed to attain a piece of newspaper article, summarise it and perhaps do a speech, together with an evaluation. Among those presented was one girl from Cedar, who chose an article from the straits Times regarding the marriage to a Thai of a Singaporean man.
To summarise, a man looking for a wife went to Thailand after paying a sum. Apparently, he had 1700 choices to select from, and in the end, he got one that was 2 times younger than him, and 3 times lighter than him. (22 years and 43 kg). The article also described Singaporeans women as fussy and materialistic, which of course agitated some of the readers (especially the female ones).
Naturally, the presenter was aggravated too, indignant and in her evaluation, declared such activity as an atrocity and condemned the act of parading 1700 women in front of men as a downright humiliation to women. She questioned the presence of women rights, and also highlighted that the basis of marriage should be love and not as an escape from poverty and hardship.
I have an urge to present the other side of the coin, and I hope to do so in an unbiased and unprovocative manner.
In Thailand and other countries, where poverty thrives, women (classified as the weaker sex) often treated and deemed less significant than men. They are usually beaten up, humiliated and more than often, have to bear their husbands’ unfaithfulness and infidelity silently and painfully. Women rights as such are often forfeited. In our modern developed country, indeed we have to be thankful that there is equality (perhaps a bad news for man, but nevertheless it’s imperative) between man and women (though at times I wonder if the law is even more in favour of women now, haha). As a result, some of the younger women in these countries resolve to marry a foreigner in hope of a better life.
Are such matchmaking services simply reducing women to dollars and cents? Perhaps the Cedar girl can’t stand the notion of 1700 young girls parading round a highly obese and old fellow.
Yet I can’t help but wonder. Do these 1700 girls feel humiliated to do this? And is it their wish to marry someone in hope of a better life? I think simple-minded they are, they just wanted a man who does not beat them, will provide for them (maybe not a life for a rich lady, but an average comfortable life), will be honest and faithful. Looks, as much as how they may value to the average Singaporean girl on the street today, is just secondary. But if the girls are being forced to marry due to monetary reasons (perhaps family liabilities), then this is not right.
This type of marriage is not the first one that appears on the news. There are many recounts of such couples that I read about. Some of these, despite the age gap, can become very ideal couples. So much for love being the basis of marriage… Romance is definitely not. How many couples, claiming to love each other, divorce within a few years of marriage? The marriage of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston already is one example. Perhaps in the modern day time, many (including men and women) are both materialistic individuals, and self-interest is what that sums up their life. The basis of marriage is not that romantic love, infatuations, but simply the ability to think of others, to be others-centered. That is love, but it’s termed as agape love.
Perhaps to most Singaporeans, the parade is just a disgrace to women’s society. Yet on another perspective, they are just seeking happiness, happiness in more easily contented manner. To me, at least it is better than them prostituting themselves, being smuggled into countries and compelled to be involved in the sex trade.
Is it right for a man to pay to get a wife? I think it is, as long as the other party does not mind it. But the question is that given a choice, will they do it?
My answer is that when given a choice, who doesn’t wants somebody wealthy, fit, young, energetic, romantic? But the question is will the marriage last? Sadly, in today’s world, that doesn’t seem to be the most important criteria for marriage.
As for women rights, maybe one day, these countries will become rich and there will be true equality. The issue of global poverty is seen here. But the battle for equality is just unreality. It’s simply a war for selfish interest. Man seek to triumph over woman and vice versa. This is an issue of sin, something only God can solve.
To each his own.
btw, feel free to rebute and argue.
