Cats.

12 16… Walking towards the bus-stop at night, often I happen to see a lady, in her late 30s, feeding the stray cats in our neighbourhood. She isn’t the first person I’ve seen doing so. A few years back, it was another old lady, and today I suppose she has a successor. Perhaps it’s times like this I’ve felt humanity is present in this modern age world after all. For me, I often have aspirations to serve these animals. Frequently, I too purchase come cat food and hopefully satisfy their hunger for the day. I can’t help but think, when I grow up, my life centred more and more towards my career, will I still continue to have a heart towards these creatures? Right now, in my younger days, I just hope that I’ll remain compassionate to these stray cats.

12 23… At times, I fret being in a developed country, a concrete jungle where life is so hectic. People have only time for themselves, and even children become a liability for most couples. Who have cared to appreciate the little bit of nature Singapore possess? Who have cared for the cats purring, imploring for food? Animals are treated like toys, for recreational activities, and they shall be cast aside and even threw away when they become too burdensome. As we progress in our technology, are we degenerating in our ethics and moral values? Many a times I find this to be true. My friend was telling me about people in China stuff a kitten into a bottle with the head emerging out. It will remain there for life. As it grows however, its body is limited to the space and soon it becomes deformed. I am horrified that there is a market for such horrible acts. Rulers over the animals on the land, fish in the sea and birds of the air are we (Genesis), what terrible tyrants some people made!

12 33… Life as a child is so much better, with the innocence that’s involved. They are so free, playing around, whiling away their time. In adulthood, so much wariness is present. People creates a protective shell around them, while hatching plots and schemes to achieve in their careers. Even within friends, trust is pathetically frail, and recounts of backstabs and betrayals are almost too numerous too count. Just like the cats who hunched their shoulders in preparation for an escape whenenver they see people walking past, people in the modern country created a shell for hiding purposes whenever they sense danger. I think I would want to be the fat cat lying down in the middle of the road, looking at people attempting to cross over nonchalantly, closing it eyes to fall asleep again in the afternoon sun. I think and hope of course, but I guess I’ll never be…

15 33… found it amusing to see how people fall in the infatuation phase. Such period is so sick, I must agree, so frustrating, and yet can be lovely in its innocent and pure self. (When I grow old and look at my young self in his foolishness and craziness, surely I shall chuckle and laugh to myself). I find myself plunging into the endless pit of such insanity time and time again, though I wonder if I’m worthy of even taking a step into it at all. In a mature self, I dismissed such thoughts as useless and worthless dreams, though I find myself still lapsing into my childish identity. I shall not go into details regarding it, as I have for the many past entries.15 38… It is Wednesday, the third day of my holidays. Time flies steadily to my prelims, and my preparation for it however has its ups and downs. I must say that I’m not at all totally committed to my academic studies. I feel I must persevere, as some have. Gradually I guess…15 42… I was browsing through the blogs of my friends, perhaps even of people I do not know. Maybe in some ways I’m inspired by these entries. I feel reading blogs has been a very beneficial activity. Perhaps it’s from there I can know the people that I’ve never spoken before, know people from the words they mention and even of the wisdom they sometimes display, of their talents (Eryn in particular with her astounding creativity has impressed me), as well as the entertainment that they may provide, though often I see the more pessimistic side of people lamenting and venting. Many a times, I feel like writing to these people and yet see the pointlessness of it. Mainly it’s because most of the writers are females and it isn’t as applicable for me to relate to them. Nevertheless, through my recreation in reading these blog entries, I find myself really affected by a girl who I do not know. That was one year ago. I remember stumbling into her diary, and got attracted to her experience as a Christian. I feel guilty, however, for interfering with the privacy I guess, yet I supposed I choose to ignore the guilt. I stopped later on but I found out recently that she just ‘coded’ her diary, much to my disappointment I guess. But such isn’t my prerogative anyway, and thus I shall not mind. I guess that diary did shaped my Christian life and I thanked that stranger for that. What am I writing this for? Perhaps to motivate other writers to continue writing… They shall have at least an avid reader…

appreciation or depreciation

I am one of the oldest youth in YF, only perhaps my experience there is probably less than some of the youths. I’ve witness the ups and downs of this small church, led by Sin Cheng and his group of leaders. I’ve see how people come and go. TNYF has grown, from a membership of 10+ to a present total of 50-60 in 3 and a half short years. From songs with a guitar, to the band we have now, possessing sophisticated like amplifiers, mikes and various instruments. And yet as TNYF modernise, is it truly progressing?

A church is one which centers around God and Christ. Is YF anywhere closer to that than what it used to be? Surely it has progressed with it is, but if it is not or even further away, then i worry.

A christian i call myself to be, a christian am i truly? why do i see Christians (or so they call themselves to be) indulging in vulgarities and worthless gossip and slander? why do i see myself lying and disobeying over and over again and get into a rage so frequently. Do i practise what i preach, or am i just a hypocritical double-faced sinner?