appreciation or depreciation

I am one of the oldest youth in YF, only perhaps my experience there is probably less than some of the youths. I’ve witness the ups and downs of this small church, led by Sin Cheng and his group of leaders. I’ve see how people come and go. TNYF has grown, from a membership of 10+ to a present total of 50-60 in 3 and a half short years. From songs with a guitar, to the band we have now, possessing sophisticated like amplifiers, mikes and various instruments. And yet as TNYF modernise, is it truly progressing?

A church is one which centers around God and Christ. Is YF anywhere closer to that than what it used to be? Surely it has progressed with it is, but if it is not or even further away, then i worry.

A christian i call myself to be, a christian am i truly? why do i see Christians (or so they call themselves to be) indulging in vulgarities and worthless gossip and slander? why do i see myself lying and disobeying over and over again and get into a rage so frequently. Do i practise what i preach, or am i just a hypocritical double-faced sinner?