Ray Quinn

Sunday, April 15, 2007 T: 15 53

I have expected this. I have known this would happen. All around me, people all around me begin talking about boyfriends and girlfriends. There are the people slightly older than me who have started to contemplate marriage and the prospect of having a family life. A few have already gotten to it. I see people gradually growing up around me. Boys gradually mature physically and mentally to become men able to discern for themselves right from wrong. Girls may become more outspoken and less shy, gradually transforming into confident, fine ladies. What will they be like 20 years down the road? What will I be like at that time? Have my mother, my aunties and uncles, my grandparents been like that in the past? And as they move from one stage to another, will they lose their liveliness, having an image and reputation they have to keep, especially in front of their kids? From what I can observe, I give it 10 years before the majority of my friends currently have families of their own.

I never stop being curious. What is it like to be a husband or a father? What does it feel like to take on responsibilities that would affect greatly the lives of others? We all watch movies, read books that recount of those happy families and loving couples. Chinese serial dramas never fail to end off with a ‘quan jia fu’ photograph. The ones that don’t always leave viewers disappointed. Maybe we all want to know that having a perfect family is possible, and we become inspired to have that kind of life. What is like to be like Ray Quinn – a character in the Quinn quartet by Nora Roberts? In the story, he is a respectable father to 3 fellows he picked up from the street, guiding the three lost boys back to the main road again. Roberts make it sound so possible, so believable. In reality, is it true? I don’t think I will ever stop being a source of frustration for my mother, even though I can be apologetic for it. I know very well I would not be where I am today if not for her. I suppose the fact that my brother and I have that bit of intelligence helps, that we are able to get into better schools and not mix with bad company. How about those who don’t? How are parents supposed to deal with that? I know of people who have begun smoking due to peer pressure, and after that it seems to be a downward spiral. Ray Quinn will always know when to let go, and when to step in, and words that will not enter his sons’ ear to exit through the other. I have never doubted when Pastor Chris suggested that you can see how a person is like by looking at his or her children.

I remember back in college, I often spend one hour a week swimming in the pool in my school. It’s always very comfortable to reflect about almost everything then. Every hand and leg movements can seem so natural and instinctive at that gentle and slow pace, as if they move on their own. It’s at one of those times when I begin thinking how I should improve my life, how I can be a better friend, a better brother in Christ, about what I would do if I’m some leader, about what I would do if I’m a father. I could think a lot. Trying is another. After all, Ray is Quinn is fiction. Reality will be never as simple and smooth as swimming in that pool.