detached.

Sunday, 9 October 2005 T: 10 18

I was one those who went to the airport yesterday to send April away, one of the multitude who saw her walking into departure hall, only with a certain unspeakable gladness and joy for her, a confidence that she will return in radiance and success, and as an excellent ambassador of God.

It’s touching to see almost half the airport actually gathering to see you off, isn’t it?

When it’s my turn to leave (or if I do have a chance), I shall be gone in a blink, without the knowledge of any. Somehow, I must learn to be independent of people and like the wind, I shall come and go as I please, without a trace of melancholy or nostalgia. For I am and will account to no one except to the Lord that I walk with. I shall leave the world in silence, seeking the dream that I have come to pursue, chasing the wind I have come to claim, leaving just a world of thanks for those who have been concerned, a word of comfort and exhortation for those who stumble. I would not wish to be tied down to this temporal world, but seek that broken fantasy I find my delight in.

And somehow, I know that the world would continue as it has always. The clock will tick as it has been built to do so. One short of the vast multitude would make no difference.

If I ever do return, it would be of stealth and quietness. I would not be sad over the lack of recognition. (I rather I am not) For it is I who chose the life of the restless wanderer who is eager to find his significance in life. It is I whose chose solitaire, and it is I who is like the wind.