the moment

for the one.

Tuesday, 16 August 2005 T: 22 02

Life can be so mean isn’t it, often giving you that tiny hope, a light in the darkness that would almost make you leap up into the air soaring in that infinite ecstasy, only to plunge you down the endless pit the next moment, falling and falling into that state of dismal and dejection. Yet it’s this very hope that somehow makes life seem possible, and the journey onwards is survivable, for somewhere into the future promised again another stroke of luck, and like addicted to this drug of happiness, we push on, persevere and survive.

For me, I’ve share of this turmoil, ups and downs of life, perhaps mostly in relationships. When you realise that you are being thought of by another, that your jokes, words are perhaps significant to the one you hold in high regard, that you seem to be more important in the eyes of the other who you cherish than others, you seem to come alive in delight and gladness. Yet at the very next moment, you wonder if that very person simply treats you as he or she has treated others, and you wonder how you ever dare to dream of being in the arms of this very person… how could you even compare yourself to him or her? You found yourself in the depths of the abyss once more.

There I was, in my childish, immature elatedness when someone told me that she asks him about me, almost going crazy with endless joy when realise that she didn’t ask about anyone. ‘The point’ as Dead Poet’s Society puts it, ‘is not that she likes me, but that at that moment, I am actually thought of!’ And somehow, in that ‘high’ and light-hearted state, accompanied by perhaps even foolishly silly wishful thinking, I wonder if dreams come true…