dreams

Tuesday, 28 June 2005 T: 20 57

Eros expresses itself in many ways, eros that is defined as attraction. I always listen in amazement to accounts of guys going all out to pursue the girl of their dreams, declaring and proclaiming boldly, and somehow, some if not many find success.

Others are more passive, just staying in the background, gratified to see that someone from far, though secretly wishing more. They do not go out to her, do not initiate much, but make use of all opportunities to get closer, cherishing every such moment, understanding and knowing they will be indelible, and continue to be a delight in the darkest of days ahead.

Then, there is another group who dream, hope and pray, continuing to fantasise, wondering if they are best described by the word ‘voyeur’. They long to talk to her, long to be near, yet at the same time do not wish to be. Every split second spent in her presence is a luxury at present, but will be a torment in time to come. The yearn and those long solitary nights filled with thoughts of her is too much a torture to bear, perhaps not exactly worth that few minutes of simple pleasure. They look at her from far, eager to capture the image in her mind, wallowing in hopelessness and despair when they can’t. They find them constantly in that dilemma (to be or not to be), but timid and shy as they are, chooses the path of the escapist, resorting to the comfort of reveries and fantasies, taking refuge in their own fool’s paradise.

*I want to be single, but struggle to be. *