on pastoring and parenting

Saturday, 18 June 2005 T: 14 57 On Pastoring and Parenting

As one listen to the detailed and heartfelt sermon of Joshua Ng, marvelling at how he can articulate points in such a simple, comprehensible and concise manner, he or she could fail to imagine that this brilliant speaker was in a total nervous wreck a while ago – scribbling and sweating anxiously. Christopher Chia, a speaker who many can describe as one full of charisma and confidence, is once criticised as a speaker who would not make it. Indeed, one wonders about the source of this strength and ability. It could only be from God. He who is holy and righteous and wise is at work.

Some attribute such transformation to experience. To deny this will be a blunder on my part. But this experience aided the speaker by increasing conviction and confidence is the gospel, and isn’t this the work of the Holy Spirit as well? Like Pastor Joshua and many other preachers, who do not feel the butterflies in the stomach when having to speak to a congregation made up of all kinds of people, even including senior ministers as well? But on stage, somehow, God is present, making use of his faithful servants, allowing these butterflies to flutter out of his mouth. Speakers like that are often very encouraged by the praises from members of the congregation, though they know it is by the grace of God. Nonetheless, I would like to suggest that they will even be more motivated when the listeners put what they taught into practice, into their daily lives, that they will live lives more pleasing to God.

The last service of church camp was indelible. I’ll never forget the last words of pastor Ng on stage, never forget him talking about his family and children, never forget that he was choking, on the verge of tears, when recalling his youngest son’s earnest prayer for him. Such, in my humble opinion, is the true mark of a great man. He need not be on top of the career ladder, rich and mighty and influential. He who is wise in God’s eyes is the one who loves God, his wife, his children, and his family. Are we willing to give up our work for our families, not to mention God? Few would say yes, including bible believers.

Evelyn is right. The reason for deteriorating attitude and behaviour in today’s kids and youths is simply because parents do not spend sufficient time with their children (or perhaps teaching them the wrong values). Current parents, preoccupied and totally caught up with their career (btw, career is a pagan concept), abandon their sons and daughters to maids, in childcare centers, schools, even churches. They question the schools, the centres for the atrocious behavior of their children, never once looking at their own roles in parenting. They rid their guilt by showering children with toys, material and money, not realising they are the ones causing the materialistic nature of their kids. Ask a toddler if he prefer his parents to play with him, or more toys? (This is basically a rhetorical question.) Parents scream, “Hey, I’m providing for the family!” But are they providing for themselves or really for their families? Putting it in a less confronting way, are they providing parental love or just material comfort? As Christians, are we willing to be godly parents, or just some mobile ATM machines? I know I’m probably writing to non-married adults, but what kind of parent would you want to be when you grow up? Like what Evelyn has mentioned, spending time with children will only be a short while; eight years or so? After that, they will much prefer the company of their own friends. But these eight years is very precious. The type of children that is brought up will be very dependent on that.

Oh well. I’m just a kid.