the race

Sunday, December 18, 2005 T: 14 12

I was somehow convinced and persuaded easily to join YF Amazing Race, perhaps out to satisfy my curiosity of the fellowship I was coerced by nature to leave, or perhaps to help the Sec 4s get used to PUNJ. If it was the latter reason, I must say the very fact that only two of them turned up is somehow disappointing, though I’m gratified to see that they seem to enjoy the company of old people pretty much, nevertheless amazed at their enthusiastic and ardent nature. It must be comical, I can imagine from an omniscient point of view, to see me lumbering after those two after one or two soundless grumbles about their high energy levels. Still, I suppose that’s where the interest of the world mostly lies – zeal.

As I hear descriptions of it from my brother, from Kenny and Grace yesterday, I found myself question whether YF has grown. Surely enough, it has significant growth in size, (my brother has commented that the attendance yesterday was only about 50-60%), yet my concern is its growth in Christ-centeredness, the most important of any church. I don’t think I’m capable of judging anyway. It seems sad in any case to hear the gradual depletion of the Y Com. I feel proud that my batch of com members seems still to be the best, yet I wonder if we have done a good job in handing down our duties and inculcating in others the zeal in serving the church, wonder if we have done our part in teaching the younger ones about the goal and priorities of servant hood. Today, it was especially disconcerting to notice in presence of elitism within a fellowship we termed Christian. To me, the sight of them choosing their comfort zone makes me wonder about the modern Christian circle. And indeed, such is not only typical in our church, but also of others as well, not to mention the very one next door. As a church grows in size, will it simply be reduced to cliques, engulfing those who are included, isolating and displacing those who are determined by the elites to be outcasted? To make it worse, are the decisions of these elites anywhere near selflessness? For me, I find myself guilty too in always remaining in the comfort zone designated by me, engaging only the familiars, and shrink away from the outsiders. How much of a Christian I am? I find it exceptionally helpful to see people, the leaders and the mature Christians, always eager to make the newcomers feel at home, and maybe this is something I should look forward to in my daily walk in Christ. Understandably, it is much easier to preach than practice.

When I was younger, I deemed a more sinless life to be an isolated one, maybe something like Robinson Crusoe. In my immaturity, I have thought a world without any other people to be more suitable for a sinless. Yet come to think of it, isn’t this very thought itself the epitome of selfishness and self-centeredness itself? Isn’t wanting to live myself easier because I don’t have others but only myself to love and care for? In the OT, the very idea of city building by Cain is sinful enough. And as people living in the post-Christ times, isn’t evangelism our responsibility as servants of the gospel? Indeed, how foolish and childish I once was!

Similarly, I think it is incumbent upon me to aid the Sec 4s in the transition from YF to PUNJ, and it will be my prayer that they will delight in learning more about Him, gradually becoming more and more rooted in the Word of God. I find it disturbing somehow that only 4 people from my batch of YF graduates become regular PUNJ attendees, despite an initial confidence. The rest seems to disappear, just attending service alone. Maybe it will be time for a change.

As for YF, it will be my hope that they will grow steadily into a church worthy of the gospel, that the youths will come to seek ardently God, and marvel at His awesome majesty and love. It is too my hope that they will be prepared to love one another and spur one another on, not only within their own clique, which even so I doubt presence of mutual encouragement in Christ.

It is always reassuring to know that the conversion of a person is not by the pathetic and insignificant me, but it is the work of the Paraclete – “the illuminating of human hearts; the regenerating and sanctifying of sinners; the actualizing of gifts and good works; the Holy Spirit bearing witness to our adoption and helping our human weakness; the supernatural engendering of faith, prayer, hope, love and all the many facets of Christlike character; and so forth.” – JI Packer