On bgr and marriage

I have perused hundreds of blogs related to boy-girl relationships, heard countless recounts of romance, even on TV, I grew up being influenced so much by the Chinese serials and considered falling for a person at the age of 7. I got envious upon looking at intimate couples, felt a void and emptiness I could not explained. I got jealous as I heard the people around me experiencing such relationships. Fantasies begin, and I find myself slipping into a reverie more and more frequently.

I could not justify my enviousness and jealousy at all. What is in the idea of such relationships that attract me so much to it? What is in a fantasy of having a partner that at times drove me insane? Is it so that I have the ability to boast? I seem not able to find an answer. I have friends who share such relationships with others, but sooner or later they are going to break up. There will be the shedding of tears, the exchange of angry verbal abuse. Is a moment of delusional happiness worthy of the permanent emotional scar?

Infatuations accompany all the way from the age of 7 to even the present age of 17. Ten years seem not taught me that infatuations are just temporary states of mind and are an absolute waste of time. I told myself that the pursuit of such dreams are as pointless, a chasing after the wind, persuaded myself that I am not one who is willing to commit. And if the sole purpose of dates should as the paths to marriage, all the more (because of the wish to remain single) I should abstain myself from such thoughts.

In a most recent Chinese serial, it describes show people should juggle well between careers and family lives, and the abandonment of relationships for the sake of careers will eventually lead to regrets and lamentations. Again, this is a fine example of government propaganda for increasing birth rate. (That’s why I hate watching MediaCorp shows so much) I can’t help but wonder, what is the point of marriage?

Over time, I have heard of couples, married but each wanted to concentrate on careers and kids are definitely a no-no. What is the point of marriage of them too? Being a Christian, I wonder if marriage is simply just an entry to sex. (Since God forbids pre-marital sex) And if a couple should reject the idea of having children, all the more there is simply no point to marriage. If marriage is just about two people enjoying each other’s company, then why can’t they stay unmarried? At least if things go badly (as time always seem to prove), they can still break up. To me, marriage seems to be a gateway to more sin.

As Christians, what better way to spend our life than to remain single and continue to do God’s words? Is marriage, as Paul has suggested in his letters, done because people in the sex-deprived state will commit greater sin. And therefore, if people could withhold the temptation, is remaining single a better option?

As for all my infatuations and fantasies, they are simply the result of peer and media influence. At the moment, my education should come first. In future, I have my career, God’s works to consider about. Besides, if I have difficulty trying to be sinless in my own life, why the hell would I consider marriage, the probability of ruining another’s life?

By the way, the government hates people like who rather remains single. Haha.

And also, I should consider deleting ‘Fallen’ – the result of infatuations and fantasies. Haha.