i wanna scream at the top of my lungs

13 45… Almost a week has passed; a sign that my writing commitment and perseverance is gradually diminishing. And yet even if I write, what will present in the content of the entry besides dejection and regrets, remorse that result in nothing positive. Many people are discouraging me from staying at home for the first 3 months, surprisingly. I do not know what I can do anyway. Advices are given in hope that I’ll go to Catholic. But somehow, I see the pointlessness of doing so. Besides, I have not many friends there. Maybe it’s a symptom of age, but enthusiasm for new friends is hitting the zero line somehow. Even currently in my secondary school, I’ve constantly sticked to Luke, Matthew and Sq. Unfortunately, I’m banished from this group of people time and time again. If I went to a jc different from the, I wonder, if we’ll still be good friends if one day we meet each other coincidentally.

Friends… The life of a youth seems to revolve pretty much around this word. Best friends… I notice so many examples of such in my daily life, and yet the best of friends they claim to be, I seriously doubt the truth of the matter. I do not believe in best friends ever since in primary school. Till now, I do not, especially in this world full of hypocrisy and betrayals. When I recalled the great friendship Linette and Lindis once shared (almost inseparable twins), I see soon after the abrupt destruction of this relationship. Perhaps hatred and hostility doesn’t not exist between them. Such is not the degree of the end of their friendship. But it’s ironic that friends who once enjoy each other’s company will be able to walk past each other without much words, especially when the incident has occurred one week before. Maybe this is the reason I like to go solo in projects or even in my recreational activity. At least to a major degree, I can be totally relaxed and perhaps be my true self. Friends…

'I wanna run through the halls of my high schoolI wanna scream at the top of my lungsI just found out there's no such thing as the real worldJust a lie you've got to rise above'
'i am invincible'

John Mayer