the self-centered creature

Saturday, February 11, 2006 T: 19 48

The self-centered creature is apathetic to the problems of others. It is only concern when it ends up in that same predicament.

A week ago, a few of us wanted to meet up another friend. It turns out that the latter promptly arrives at the meeting location, only to wait purposelessly for half hour. He left alone after that and no extra pleading, begging, nor apology would bring him back. We question his sanity, his intelligence, perhaps even his selfishness, for going all the way to the MRT station only to return home. A complete waste of time and effort indeed – it would not be if only he would care to forgive and wait a while longer. Ironically, I found myself in an almost similar circumstance. I left, as simple as that, irritated and annoyed. Was I insane? Was I stupid? Was I wasting my time and effort? To the last question, it sure is – my journey there that is, definitely not the one back.

I have been the selfish creature, not hesitating to criticize, to complain and to insult, only to realize the entire truth when I faced the same problem. Maybe when we criticize, we never fail to see the speck of dust in another’s eye, yet oblivious to the plank in ours’.

I finally realize too when my education for the past 12 years have been demanding an emphasis on punctuality. I finally realize my frustration and fury of my teachers in response to the lateness of handing up work by students. A failure to be punctual is not just causing the other party to wait a while longer; rather it simply expresses the insignificance of him or her. My friend whom I have once labeled as dense must have been thinking of the hypo criticism of it all – ‘there they are apologizing to me, as if I am some VIP when they could not even be punctual for the meeting with me!’

As a Christian, I should have known very clearly to always put myself in the shoes of others, and not blindly attacked others based on my position as a selfish victim. Surely, in this area, I have failed.

Perhaps for many of us who never pause to push the blame unto others, to swear and curse and others, it is time for a re-examination of our lives. Have we neglected the planks in our eyes? Are we that blameless, that faultless? Have we examined carefully the complete picture of the issue? Even if the criticism can turn out to be fair, are we going to live our lives with eternal detest for the other party?

To do unto others what others have done unto to you is insufficient. Rather we must do unto others what we would like them to do unto us. Or even further, we must love in spite of everything else. It is only then we can be worthy as the adopted children of God.

I will forgive, not to show off my magnanimous and gracious nature (for truly I am that selfish and self-centered creature, but rather because in ways greater, and I mean much astronomically greater, the Lord has forgiven me.